I’m one of those people who, when I’m sad, likes to listen to agonizingly depressing songs. I’m talking about those songs that make you want to curl up in a ball on your bedroom floor with Moose Tracks ice cream smeared on your face, cry and ask God what you ever did to deserve a fate worse than Sisyphus.
Sure, I’ve lied in the past and said that I just listen to them to hear people singing about situations much worse than my own. But let’s face it, people. Everyone listens to feel sorry for themselves. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s part of the healing process. And who said it was our job to mess with the healing process? No one, that’s who.
So listen on, my friends, listen on.
The Background – Third Eye Blind
This is for all those angsty 90s teens out there. If you ever had a breakup during 3EB’s reign, this was definitely the go-to tune.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Where’s that crazy girl / You don’t get drunk on red wine and fight no more”
Foolish Games – Jewel
Remember Jewel before she went country? When she sang about societies’ tribulations in her haunting voice? Ahh, those were the days.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Well, excuse me / Guess I’ve mistaken you for somebody else / Somebody who gave a damn / Somebody more like myself”
Three Song Blues – Alberta Cross
Calling all hipsters! This is just country enough for Alberta Cross to yell “WOMAN!” but just alternative enough for it to be cool.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Oh my word / This is all after all / Even death passes all my calls”
One Of Those Days – Joshua Radin
Oh, Joshua. You lovely, sad man. King of depressing songs. This may be your saddest yet. Nice work.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Alone I stay inside / And I await the rain / To wash away your face / So I don’t have to hide / The sight of you is painful”
Trouble – Coldplay
If messing up isn’t bad enough, Coldplay lets us relive the horror over and over again with this gem.
Cry-hardest lyric: “I lost my head / The thought of all the stupid things I said”
Til’ I Get Over You – Michelle Branch
This song slowly transitions us into the “sad but now also angry” stage. The added French parts lets us hate in multiple languages.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Every time I feel alone / I can blame it on you”
Me, Myself & I – Hanson
Now that you’ve been depressed for so long, you start to go crazy and talk to yourself. I guess when you broke up with your significant other, all your friendships ended too (whaa?), leaving only you and the imagery people in your head.
Cry-hardest lyric: It must be end of the road / It must be the end of you and I and forever, too”
Someone Like You – Adele
Everyone knows this is the most depressing song ev-er – and that SNL skit with Emma Stone proves it. Listening to this will convince you you’ll end up a spinster with 30 cats.
Cry-hardest lyric: “Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said / Sometimes it lasts in love/ But sometimes it hurts instead”